what's worse than a tiny bedroom? a tiny bathroom

especially when you are like me and can't go into sephora or target without getting ONE MORE LIP GLOSS because maybe this lip gloss will be the magic lip gloss that will solve all your lip-related problems. that sounded like it could be possibly misinterpreted.

my bathroom really is tiny, though. including the shower, it's 7' x 5.5' or so. small. way too small for me, a person who swoons at public restrooms and their enormity of counter space.


here's looking into the bathroom from the doorway. no, we don't have a blue wall - that's just the camera flash.


here's the other side. ugh, that toilet seat cover makes my eyes bleed.

i now have to time doing my hair and makeup around t, because we both can't fit in our bathroom. redoing it wouldn't change the size issue, but it would update the 80s fake wood vanity. thank god.

any ideas?

i'm home

ok. so...

• i have no money
• there are sprikets in my basement
• no washer/dryer
• no dishwasher
• i may or may not have ruined my porch floor with my crappy paint job. that is also unfinished
• my house is a mess. my stuff is everywhere. i hate unorganization, but may have to live with this for awhile
• my to-do/to-buy list just gets longer
• everyone and their brother wants to stop by, even though my house is a mess.

even with all that, it's still really, really cool being a homeowner.

until october 2039...

...i am owned by the bank. why, you ask? because i bought a house. or as my dad put it, i fulfilled one of the american dreams: i became a homeowner. and even though i don't technically move into the house until next week, and thus making today ever so slightly anti-climatic, i am very, very excited. i felt like i signed my life away at closing with all the papers that bear my autograph. and i thought signing an apartment lease was bad. i chickened out of buying the washer and dryer, and now i slightly regret this - only slightly, because that's a pretty big bill as well. and after all, spending thousands upon thousands of dollars in one day is exhausting. i may go to bed soon, and it's not even 9 p.m.

i have felt in the past year that none of the growing i was doing was good enough. sure, i had a job - but my friends are getting married. sure, my car was paid off - but my friends were having babies. i got the idea in my head that buying a home would help me grow. it would put me on the same level, because in my head, nothing is worse than being left behind, especially not when everyone else is having all the fun. so last may, i met with a realtor and started this process. almost five months later, i am a homeowner. my intentions may not have been ideal, but the end result isn't one i regret at all.

and - it has to be said - some of those friends who got married are no where near ready to buy a home. so i do have one leg up on them.

the growing continues.

no more indy

my shoulders feel so much lighter now that i am finally out of my apartment. it took many trips back up to the north side, but thanks in a HUGE part to my dad, brother and mom, i'm out. finally. FINALLY. i loved my apartment, my first home that i paid for and organized and was responsible for. but i am so, so happy to be done with it. it's such a hike, and i was sick of the traffic and the driving and the everything. i was done, ready to move on, which is the perfect place to be in when it's actually time to move on. there was no sentiment, unusual for me, as i left, mostly because the things that had made the apartment mine - my stuff - was gone. it was just an empty living space with a few more nicks on the walls and stains on the carpet (thanks hamlet). now my mom's house is literally overflowing with my stuff in boxes and bags and thrown everywhere. i need to get to my own place pronto. i can't wait.

fingers crossed

it may have happened.

but i am a sad believer in jinxes, so i feel like i can't stay what it is. only infer from my previous rantings the one thing that has consumed my life for what feels like years. and know i am starting to be semi-hopeful. of course 20,000 things have to fall into place for this to happen. oy oy oy. but it's nice to be hopeful instead of despair that i'll never find what i'm looking for. i'm looking at my apartment, the place where i've discovered how much i really love my freedom and all that comes with it (yes, even paying bills). this place is usually clean-ish, but is now covered with boxes and random things that don't fit into any sort of category. i have hurt my back twice in this prolonged move already, but i am so excited to be going home, even if it's to my room that doesn't look anything like my room anymore. columbus may be god-awful boring, may be small, may die at 8:30, may be the place where most people my age pray to escape or give me weird looks when i say i'm happily returning, but i can't wait to go back.

fingers crossed this all works.

this isn't my city anymore

ok, it was fun, this big-city living i did for almost 11 months. i enjoyed the experience, the shopping (oh the shopping!), the morning walk three blocks into downtown, where the skyline would greet me, the 18th floor office with its panoramic views of the city (perfect for checking out a massive fire in an empty building), the choices for pretty much everything. it was lovely and all, but i'm over it. i'm done with the big city. i'm regressing - literally - back to my childhood, to the place i was raised and that i honestly didn't think i would come back to for a long, long time. true, i loved coming back when i had to work out of the office there, and true i wanted to raise my kids there. so maybe this is the way it's supposed to happen? strange, isn't it, the way things work? almost like my heart knew something i didn't. when i made the choice to move back to my hometown, it was a light switch going off - like saying, yes, of course, why didn't i see this option earlier? the moment i considered it, no other option was viable: it was this or nothing. we'll see how it all works out, but one thing is for certain: the rest of the summer is going to be life-changing for me, literally. i can't wait.

house hunting part dva

after seeing my 27th house two days ago - and not being completely in love with the fact that we would have to expand it + add a new garage - i've officially decided that i am done rushing this process.

that doesn't mean i'm not going to continue to look at houses. but i'm not going to put an offer down on one that i don't have that feeling about. you know, that fluttery, this-is-right feeling? that feeling where instinctively i know it's the way to go. i haven't had that yet about houses - not even about the one we did put an offer on (and lost...boo). it wasn't an instantaneous love - more a definitely like that could grow into love over time.

i realize this is a slightly fucked-up way to look at homes. but i'm ok with that. if i'm going to go $140,000 in debt, i may as well be in love with the place that will own my soul.

a-hem...house stuff

this house thing is incredibly frustrating. if i wasn't so stubborn that i'm right (that now is a good time to buy), i would give up. so far i've seen 26 houses. of those, we've liked several and have even offered on one (we didn't get it, obviously). of those 26, we probably liked about 7-8 - and every damn one has sold or had an offer almost instantly after we liked it. it's the most frustrating fucking thing ever. i fall in love, only to have my house-y dreams trampled on by too high a counter-offer or too much competition. where's the crappy housing market, people? this is bullshit!

my realtor just sent me another list of houses and most of them are crap. i am not living in certain areas or using well water as my sewage system for crissakes. but we'll probably go see three more tonight...which means (only if i love any of them), they'll be gone by tomorrow. so if you need to sell your home, please have me come look at it. works like a fucking charm.