until october 2039...

...i am owned by the bank. why, you ask? because i bought a house. or as my dad put it, i fulfilled one of the american dreams: i became a homeowner. and even though i don't technically move into the house until next week, and thus making today ever so slightly anti-climatic, i am very, very excited. i felt like i signed my life away at closing with all the papers that bear my autograph. and i thought signing an apartment lease was bad. i chickened out of buying the washer and dryer, and now i slightly regret this - only slightly, because that's a pretty big bill as well. and after all, spending thousands upon thousands of dollars in one day is exhausting. i may go to bed soon, and it's not even 9 p.m.

i have felt in the past year that none of the growing i was doing was good enough. sure, i had a job - but my friends are getting married. sure, my car was paid off - but my friends were having babies. i got the idea in my head that buying a home would help me grow. it would put me on the same level, because in my head, nothing is worse than being left behind, especially not when everyone else is having all the fun. so last may, i met with a realtor and started this process. almost five months later, i am a homeowner. my intentions may not have been ideal, but the end result isn't one i regret at all.

and - it has to be said - some of those friends who got married are no where near ready to buy a home. so i do have one leg up on them.

the growing continues.

hello lover

would it be wrong to spend $950 on a pair of shoes?

really? i mean, seriously, they are the most beautiful pair of shoes ever. lily allen wore them on australian tv and said she stole or "nicked" them. i completely understand why.

although it pisses me off slightly that lily, a girl who is both younger than me and in a position to buy a $950 pair of shoes, had to nick them. (p.s. the word "nick" is so much more fun than stole. i love british slang.)

ok, see them for yourself. and if you'd like to buy them for me, go here. (size 10.5, please!)

twisted logic

i have been thinking and wondering and wishing and thinking about buying an apple. i had one years ago that was tragically killed when i accidentally dropped it down the stairs. pretty funny now, but horribly tragic then. i have a really bad track record with computers - for instance, my dell (the replacement) is in t's computer graveyard right now because the screen keeps falling shut and it won't turn on. this could also be because dells are pieces of shit and i hate them. i'm not sure.

i actually went into the apple store today and played around on the macbook i want. it was all white like a computer angel and absolutely gorgeous. i'm dying of indecisiveness, because even though i don't technically need a computer, i really, really want this one. and i have considered this choice for over a month, so i'm not rushing into it. i'm trying to be logical about my purchases, considering i am financially responsible for myself and all.

but here's where the twisted part comes in. i've been reluctant to spend that kind of money because from what i hear, houses are expensive. if i find a house, i'll need the money that's already gone because i bought a computer. but of course i haven't found that elusive piece of property. so what is the answer? no computer = no house. buy a computer and be in the hole a lot of money = i'll find the house of my dreams. perfect! it's a win-win! i'm buying the damn computer. and then the house will magically go on sale. because that's pretty much how my life works.