in the car, holding hands, laughing

we're having movie night tonight.

we don't do movies much anymore, at least at the theater. i'd like to say it's because they're expensive but honestly i'm kind of a homebody, and also lazy. but movie night is fun, especially since we got the (hand-me-down used flood-rescued) big screen from my brother. i haven't been on the comfy couch in forever now that it got sucked into the man cave. it's kind of his zone, like mine is me knitting something or reading on my kindle, wherever i might be sprawled out.

life is hard. and busy. even though we only (ha) have two dogs and a cat, we're still busy. i still get home some nights so tired my eyes hurt, so cranky i'm yelling at melissa block on "all things considered," even though she has the sweetest, most non-anger-inducing voice. i was talking about relationships with a friend a few weeks ago, and i said something that i think made me pause all my baby fantasies.

"it's not going to get any easier. it's just going to get more stressful."

crap, it is. in fact the past few times we've planned a movie night, i've said let's do something else, even though we both knew that something else was me zoning out on youtube and him playing wow. i needed to zone out. i had had a long day.

it's ok if tonight's movie night doesn't happen. right now i'm thinking it will and planning for our mini date at home. it's funny that the little things cheer me up now: the laughter, the walks with the dogs, the car rides to and from work, hearing about his day, smiling, excited for tomorrow.

a project

t left today. we're both trying to stay positive, and doing a pretty good job about it. his leaving involved a frantic search for the cell phone at 6:15 a.m. then hammie redeemed himself after pooing on the floor yesterday by finding it laying on the ground a ways away from our apartment. what are the chances? hey, i never said i was an atheist...completely. so t has his cell phone, thank goodness, and is coming home next weekend to help my brother and dad move all the heavy stuff. so it's just like way back when he was working for hh gregg and would travel for a week or even two weeks at a time. just like that.

meanwhile, i'm lonely already and need a project. besides the whole house thing, i've decided that i want to try to write a romance novel. i love my romance books. this is a love affair that's been going on for more than a year now, so i'm pretty sure it's not a crush. there is little else that makes me happier than snuggling in bed with hammie and a new eloisa james (i broke down and had to buy her new one, "a duke of her own." being #20 on the waitlist at the library wasn't going to cut it, especially after "this duchess of mine" was so good!). good romances, as i've said before, are really well-written pieces of literature. writing one isn't going to be easy. but i have fallen in love with this world that i can't believe took me so long to learn about. then of course i had to think of a good story idea and decide what period i wanted to write in. of course i picked regency. i've rarely veered away from romances from that genre, and vastly prefer them to any others. i just need something to occupy my time and help me remember everything will be alright. because i really, really believe it will be.