elder

it's a bitch getting old.

you'd think people could at least keep their dignities. after all their work and struggles, you'd think karma would return the favor.

but then your body betrays you time and time again and you're rendered to a person so dimly recognizable, your children and grandchildren are left with only memories of who you used to be.

it's so unfair. it's so fucking unfair that after everything, old age robs us first of our appearance, then of our health - and then it has to take the mind, too. it's truly bullshit seeing my grandparents suffer. they all put themselves through college. they all suffered through a depression and a world war. they worked hard, giving their children a better life. they are good, decent, loving people. and now in their last years, they suffer.

and now my last memories of them will be of that suffering - of this shell of a person who is not the grandfather i once knew with the sense of humor and pride. it's not him. but he's the only grandfather i have.

bullshit. utter confounding indignant injustice.